This whole week, and perhaps last week, i’ve been late for school frequently and beginning to skip lectures. Which really shouldn’t be the way because this is final year, and to my great horror i still do not know alot of things that are being taught in class. Too bad there isn’t like a fairygodmother which i can wish upon.
Made my mum a really unhappy woman due to a few stupid things which i know i shouldn’t have done the past few days.
I also think that i should coop myself in the school library to read or like gain a new knowlegde of something. I’d really love to do origami but my brain would malfunction to it when i try to recall the steps. But i’ve really got to start worrying for FYP. Right now i’m just having a few short bursts of FYP reminders but i’m not really doing anything yet, and i think it’s really time to get down to things.
And i’ve got someone in mind. I understand that things are tough on her, and that she is worrying and thinking about alot of things. But I want to be there to hold her hand and shield her from any troubles that comes her way. =) So i guess those worries wouldn’t be there to stay for long.
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That day when i was taking photos for my GEMs assignment, i took a whole lot that i didn’t submit in because of the theme, but here are the better ones, for you to enjoy.
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I love cupcakes,
cookies,
mcflurry,
muffins,
pretty cakes
and pumpkin pies.
But i think you’re the sweetest of them all.
When you begin to fall in love you do many stupid things. Like being jealous and such.
Because of these kinds of things, you aren’t able to sleep properly cause you’re flustered, thinking about it.
Then you wake up, all groggy and tired.
But you know it’s still worth it to an extent.
There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go
Will you won’t you, be the one I’ll always know
When I’m losing my control, the city spins around
You’re the only one who knows, you slow it down
School work has been ruling my life for the past few days. But just so you know, i’d be owning it in another few days time. Really sucks though, to know that you it is all graded and the mistakes that you make will really just you hate yourself sometimes. Not this semester hopefully…
Then there’s going to be a camp this Friday…
Oh, but i talked to chark after a long long time. It’s always fun to talk to her, and there’s a million and one things that we can talk about.
Anyway, i went out yesterday to take some pictures for my elective in school. It’s something about digital photography and i’ve to take some pictures to submit. So, enjoy there.
My iPod ran out of battery on the way home.
I kept the ear phones on.
And i hummed 7 nation army.
All the way home.
Without any music coming through.
Poly Forum
May 14, 2009
As a proof of my unwillingness to go for Poly Forum, i handed in the registration forms and indemnity form. Obviously, there’s more to it… Such as me forgetting to bring the 50 dollars as a fee and to bring my passport. It’s not just pure forgetfulness though. I feel as though my heart seems to be out of place these few days. I’m not too sure what i’m even doing sometimes.
Spending hours playing Restaurant City on Facebook.
It just doesn’t make any sense. I can’t even seem to do simple arithmetic. Plus, minus, divide, times. I guess school has been fun but all i can think about lately is to have more fun. But quite honestly, i want to get out of poly.
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My mum told me something and i really felt that some stuff were my fault. And i feel like i couldn’t make it up to her. She’s real wonderful but i guess i screw things up every now and then. Just when she doesn’t need it.
(edit)
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“You do realise what you’ve done.. right?”
Not really. Have you ever felt that no one really understands you? And that in return, you don’t really understand people at all as well? It’s like a give and take kind of thing. Right now i feel really aweful because i think people don’t understand me. Even you. That’s why you’re asking me that question.
I don’t have to justify to anyone. I don’t have to answer for anything. I just need to know that i’m still me. That i haven’t lost sight of everything else including me. It’s a really scary feeling to walk in the darkness… To know that you cant see anything. And even with a guiding lamp that you hold in your hand, it’s not sufficient. And that’s what i’m experiencing right now. Darkness.
“But you know that i’m here for you isn’t it?”
I appreciate your concern, but sometimes, there’s gotta be more than just someone being beside you. You just need to have someone, without having to say anything, know that you’re sad or that you’re happy… or that you really just want that person. Some people call it companionship while others call it love. I don’t have to care what other people call it. I know that i need it.
And that’s all there ever is to it.
“Something’s bothering you…”
Yes, and i’m not having it easy. I always thought i had friends. When the truth is i really don’t. And when people tell me about their best friends i’d frantically think of someone whom i can call to be one, and not really listening to what that person have to say. On the outside, i may seem to be the happy-go-lucky kind of guy but deep down i really wish i had someone to just sit down at a porch and talk while watching cars whizz by on a lonely day.
“Ever tried God?”
Once, or twice. Then i realise he doesn’t talk much but he does send an occasional bird to sing a song outside my window whenever i’m sad. I tried to look harder, but i just couldn’t see through anything.
What about you? You keep asking the questions… Don’t you feel anything after listening to all these? Don’t you even care?
“I…”
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There are a few things i’ve to do to get things off my chest.
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i don’t need an answer from you
because i just want you to know
that’s all 
